Stand By You
by Caz Malfoy
Summary: Danny thinks that he can never do anything to regain Mac's trust so he decides to end it and put everyone out of their misery. Can Flack save him? Slash!
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: I don't own CSI:NY, CBS does. No profit is being made from this._

_Pairing: Unrequited Danny/Mac, one sided Flack/Danny - at the moment._

_Summary: Set after 'What You See Is What You See'. Danny thinks that he can never do anything to regain Mac's trust so he decides to end it and put everyone out of their misery. Can Flack save him?_

_Spoilers: Slight Tanglewood and What You See Is What You See._

_Warning: Sucide (or is it just attempted?)_

_Authors Note: Sorry this is so short. I was originally going to post it as one big fic but... I changed my mind. I'm the author I can do that! Please don't hate me too much._

Stand By You

The rain was coming down so hard that it was bouncing off of the floor by the time Danny Messer arrived at his apartment building. Not caring that he was getting wet, he slowly made his way across the car park towards the building, slowly punching in the key code before pushing the heavy door open, barely remember to push extra hard as it got stuck on the slightly uneven floor.

He stomped up the stairs to his apartment, his boots going down heavily causing every step to echo off of the walls around him. He was still scowlingas he threw the apartment door open. It bounced off of the wall behind it with a loud crack. The force of the door hitting it knocked his key holder onto the floor but right then he didn't care about anything at all. Especially not a stupid key holder, one that he didn't even use.

Danny kicked his boots off and threw his keys on the side board. He couldn't believe how badly he had fucked up with his boss, Detective Mac Taylor. Danny knew how disappointed Mac was with him at the moment and he also knew it wasn't just the events of Danny's little mishap with his weapon. Danny just knew that Mac hated him for hiding his past. And that hurt Danny more than anything else.

Danny was not proud of his youth, he hadn't _even _wanted to become a Tanglewood boy but because everyone else in his neighbourhood was doing it, the gawky teenager had done anything to get what he most desired; to fit with his friends.

It had taken a while and it had been very difficult but Danny had managed to get out of that life. Sonny wasn't happy when Danny told him he wanted out, but when Danny stood his ground and insisted that he was walking away from that life forever, albeit after many fist fights and arguments, Danny was finally granted the exit he so desperately wanted.

Danny had never been in love in the past so he had no idea what the feelings were really like. All he had to go on were people's accounts and stories about the feelings love produced deep within the human heart and mind. It came as a surprise when he realised he was in love, or what he thought was love, with Mac.

At first he thought he had been imagining it, but every time he thought about Mac, Danny would get a tingling in the back of his stomach and the sudden urge to walk right over to the ex-marine and piss him to his desk, right before assaulting Mac's mouth with his tongue and doing unspeakable things to him.

There were times when Danny thought that he might have some kind of chance with Mac. Fleeting glances across the lab, half smiles and semi-casual touches on the arm. But when Mac found out Tanglewood, everything came crashing down at Danny's feet, shattering his dreams and fantasies into a million broken pieces and Danny's latest mistake didn't do anything to help Mac's confidence in him.

Danny stalked into the bathroom and yanked open the bathroom cabinet, withdrawing an almost full bottle of painkiller medication.

He closed the cabinet and looked at his reflection in the mirror. His eyes were blood shot and there were dark circles under his eyes. Danny looked down at the bottle in his hand, considering his options. He had been thinking about putting everyone out of their misery ever since the shoot out and the sting of knowing that he would never stand a chance with Mac made his decision that much easier for him.

The blond made his way into the kitchen to grab a large glass of water to wash the tablets down.

It took a few attempts to manage to swallow all the tablets, a few kept threatening to come back up as he gulped down more. When there were no more than two pills left in the bottom of the bottle Danny groaned and doubled over, dropping the bottle on the counter top and grabbing his stomach.

"Oh god," he moaned as he felt a wave of nausea wash over him and another bolt of pain shoot through his stomach. "What have I done?" he asked himself, fumbling in his pockets for his cell phone.

His hands were shaking as he flipped the phone open and pressed speed dial one, calling the one person that he knew he could rely on; his colleague and friend, Detective Don Flack. Danny groaned again as the pain got worse, just as Flack answered the call.

"Danny?" Flack's voice asked in concern. The pain was overwhelming him at that point and all Danny could do was moan. "Danny?" Flack repeated sounding more urgent and concerned.

"Flack," Danny managed to get out. "Help me. Please," he added, before his vision went blurry and he fell to the floor, hitting his head hard on the tiles beneath his feet.

Before the world around him went black, he could hear Flack's voice on the line, urgently repeating his name.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

_Disclaimer: See previous chapter._

Stand By You

Chapter 2

Don Flack was across town when he got Danny's phone call. He had stopped off at a local burger joint and had just placed his order when he heard a painful moan coming from Danny's end of the line. When he repeated the blond's name and got the same response, Don became more and more worried about his friend.

Then he heard Danny's plea for help and the blue eyed homicide detective didn't even have to think twice, he put the phone down and ran out of the takeaway, leaving his food behind, jumped in his squad car and speeding across town, lights flashing and sirens blaring. He knew that something was wrong with Danny, he just hoped he got to the CSI in time before anything bad happened to him.

Don ran up the stairs, three at a time and by the time he arrived at Danny's third floor apartment he was panting and sweating slightly. He took a second to catch his breath before pulling his gun out of it's holster. He tried the door and found it unlocked. Cautiously, gun raised, he stepped into the apartment, calling Danny's name, not getting a response. As he cleared the sitting room he could see his friend lying on the floor in the kitchen through the open doorway. It took every ounce of control in Don not to rush to Danny and help him before he was sure that there was no one else in the apartment.

He knew from experience that it wasn't clever to leave a potential crime scene unchecked. When Don was positive there was no one else there, he holstered his gun and ran back into the kitchen, dropping onto his knees next to Danny.

"Danny?" Don said, putting his hand behind Danny's head lifting his head slightly and pressing two fingers against Danny's pulse point.

He exhaled a breath he found that there was a pulse. It was very faint, but at least there was one and thankfully Danny appeared to be breathing. "Jesus, Danny, what have you done?" Don whispered, looking up at the counter top where the almost empty pill bottle was sitting while he dialled 911. He informed the emergency services that Danny had taken an overdose and gave them the address.

While he was waiting for the ambulance to arrive Don tried to get Danny to regain consciousness again. But every time he looked at Danny he found himself thinking that Danny looked like he was dead, lying comatose on the kitchen floor, his glasses removed by Don and his hair a mess. Don would have thought that Danny was, in fact, dead if it wasn't for the slight rise and fall of Danny's chest.

After what felt like a life time the paramedics arrived and Don was forced to step back and allow them to do their job. The paramedics asked him what had happened and all Don could tell them was that Danny had called his cell, pleading for help and when he arrived he had found him in the state he was currently in. He indicated to the medicine bottle on the counter. The paramedics confirmed that, if the label was accurate, the bottle had been filled two days ago. Don knew that Danny's back had been bothering him for the past few days so he knew there would at least have been a couple already missing, but it still meant that Danny had taken dozens of painkillers in an attempt to end his life.

The paramedics allowed Don to ride to the hospital in the ambulance with Danny. He watched helplessly as the paramedics tried to revive him, with no more success than Don had managed. Don could do nothing but wait as the doctor whisked the blond away as soon as they arrived at the hospital. Nurses gave him forms to fill out for Danny. Thankfully Don knew most of the things that his friend was allergic to and what medication he normally took, if any, enabling him to fill the forms out correctly.

When the ER doctor stepped back out into the hallway Don immediately jumped up out of his seat. "Excuse me," the doctor said, stepping up to Don. "Mr…"

"Detective," Don corrected automatically.

"Sorry. Detective Flack, I presume?" the doctor asked.

Don nodded his head. "Is he going to be okay?" he asked nervously, not knowing how he would react if the doctor told him what he didn't want to hear.

"Your friend swallowed more than two dozen painkillers, detective," the doctor sighed and Don couldn't help fearing the worst. "We had to pump his stomach to get the drugs out of his system. Mr Messer was very lucky you called the paramedics when you did. Had you been any later he may have suffered brain damage or worse."

"So he's going to be okay?" Don breathed.

The doctor nodded his head, smiling finally at Don. "He's going to need to take some time off of work to recover - I'm assuming he's a police officer also." Don nodded his head absentmindedly. "But sometimes when someone tries and fails to commit suicide, they often try again until they do succeed. It might be advisable for someone to keep an eye on the young man, until he's feeling better," the doctor suggested.

Flack nodded his head, he had planned on not letting Danny out of his sight for a while anyway. Not considering how he felt for the blond crime scene investigator and how close he had come to loosing someone he cared deeply.

"Can I see him?" Don asked quietly. The doctor nodded his head and informed Flack which room Danny was in. When the homicide detective arrived in Danny's room he took a deep breath in as he saw how pale his friend looked, lying on the white hospital sheets. "Danny," Don breathed, crossing the room and sitting on the edge of Danny's bed.

Danny was lying on the bed, his eyes closed and he looked as though he was doing nothing more than sleeping peacefully. There was an IV attached to Danny right arm and a couple of wires connecting the blond to several different monitoring devices.

When Don took Danny's hand in his the homicide detective was a little bit glad that Danny was so out of it, otherwise he would have never been able to get close enough to hold his hand.

Danny didn't think that Flack knew, but the detective was more than painfully aware of Danny's feelings for Mac. He knew that Danny snuck glances at Mac when he thought no one was looking. Don knew that Danny's eyes lit up every time Mac so much as looked in his direction. Danny didn't know it but every time he wasn't looking, Don's eyes were glued to Danny's body, taking in every inch of the gorgeous figure that was Daniel Messer.

Danny's eyes flickered and Don immediately released his hand, not wanting to raise awkward questions. "Don?" Danny croaked and Don was sure that his heart skipped a beat when he heard his name pass those entirely kissable lips.

"Hey," Don whispered, reaching over and gently placing Danny's glasses on his nose that he could see properly.

"What happened?" Danny asked, still feeling nauseous.

Don's eyes widened. "Are you kidding me?" he asked. "You tried to kill yourself, Danny," he snapped.

"What?" Danny asked in surprise before the events of the day registered in his brain which was still sluggish; the after effects of the drugs he had consumed. "Oh god," he groaned closing his eyes and turning his head to the side. "I'm sorry," he apologized, opening his eyes and looking up at his friend. "I don't know why I did it."

Don smiled sadly and thought to himself, 'I do'. He reached over and patted Danny on the shoulder in what could easily pass as a friendly gesture. "Go back to sleep, Danny," he said quietly. "I'm going to go let the nurse that you've woken up."

Danny glared at him, about to snap at the detective for telling him what to do when a yawn interrupted him. "Shut up," he grumbled, closing his eyes again as Don chuckled to himself.

"Welcome back, Danny," Don whispered, a sad smile on his face as Danny fell back asleep.

TBC


	3. Chapter 3

_Disclaimer: see previous chapters._

Stand By You - Chapter Three

"I don't need someone to baby sit me," Danny snapped at Don as he signed himself out of the hospital.

Don sighed and ran his hand over his face, glaring at Danny in annoyance. Listening to Danny's protests was nothing new for Don, for the week that the doctors had kept the blond in the hospital, all the homicide detective had been forced to listen to how annoying being cooped up in hospital was and then, when they had told him that he would be discharged under the provision that he had supervision for at least a few days, Danny had done nothing but complain that he was not a child any more and, therefore, didn't need someone to watch over his every move.

"I'm not a danger to myself anymore," Danny continued. "The doctors have been prodding me and watching me this whole week-,"

"Danny?" Don said, trying to sound as if he wasn't loosing his patience with his friend. "Would you shut up?" he snapped, causing Danny to stop in mid-sentence and Don was sure that a pout was forming on the blond's face. "The doctors want me to keep an eye on you for a few days in case the drugs had more of an effect on you than they thought." Of course, everyone knew that this was a lie. The only reason Don was going home with Danny was to make sure that Danny didn't try to kill himself, despite the doctors assessment that the threat had passed. "Would you rather it was Stella that was going home with you?" Don asked.

Danny scowled and pressed the down button in the elevator. "That was mean," he commented as the doors slid open and he and Don entered the elevator.

Don smiled at him and pressed the button that would take them to the hospital parking lot in the basement. Despite his mood, Danny found himself smiling back as he watched the monitor change as they passed other floors. Secretly, he was glad that Don was going with him. Danny couldn't explain why but whenever he was around Don he forgot that Mac Taylor even existed. When they were playing basketball or even just having a beer at the bar, it was like they were the only two people in the world; that was why Danny considered Don such a good friend.

Of course, Danny didn't know that Don felt the same way. Except, even when they were apart all the homicide detective could think about was Danny. His laugh; his smile; his accent; the colour of his eyes and the way they lit up excitedly when he had discovered something big on a case. Everything about Danny enchanted Don and, standing in a small elevator it was all Don could do not to push Danny against the wall and make him forget all about Mac.

The drive back to Danny's apartment building was silent - not an uncomfortable silence, just a silence that meant they were comfortable enough to sit in silence without worrying about finding something to say to each other.

As soon as Danny stepped across the threshold to his apartment he took a deep breath, taking in the scent of the place. "Ah, it's good to be home," he sighed.

Don laughed as he shrugged his jacket off. "Danny, you've only been gone for a week. Not for years," he reminded him.

"Feels like it," Danny shrugged his shoulders, making his way into the sitting and then the kitchen. "Oh shit," he cursed as he saw the kitchen.

Don followed him and saw what he meant. While it wasn't that much of a mess to Don, but to Danny it probably seemed like everything was out of place; the blond was a surprisingly fussy person when it came to the tidiness of his apartment. The glass that Danny had drunk from was currently laying on the floor in pieces. Don hadn't noticed it before; it must have rolled off the counter when Danny fell, Don mused as he put his hand on Danny's shoulder.

"I'll clean it up," he told Danny. "You go take a shower," he instructed.

"Are you sure?" Danny asked, looking at Don curiously.

Don nodded his head. "Positive," he assured him. "You need to shave more than normal," he added. "Besides, mate," he smirked, "you stink."

"Thanks." Danny huffed indignantly and elbowed Don in the ribs before he made his way into the bathroom. Don laughed and set about looking around Danny's kitchen for a dustpan and brush.

Don had finished tidying up and had grabbed himself a beer out of Danny's refrigerator before the blond re-appeared from the bathroom.

"Is that better?" Danny asked, standing in front of Don.

"Well, you've shaved," Don stated, leaning forward slightly and smelling Danny. "And you _definitely _smell better," he added, wondering when the temperature in the room had increased in the room. "You're okay now."

"Glad I have your stamp of approval," Danny said dryly, throwing himself on the couch and grabbing the remote.

'You always have my stamp of approval,' Don found himself thinking as he sat next to Danny as the other man settled on a baseball game.

* * *

Don walked out of the kitchen a few days later, coffee in hand and smiled as he saw Danny standing topless, bent over the television, trying to do something with the wires behind it.

The smile didn't fade as his eyes came to rest on the Tanglewood tattoo that decorated Danny's shoulder. Don had heard rumours around the locker room about Danny. Rumours that Danny used to run with the Tanglewood boys. Nobody had any real proof that Danny did so the rumours pretty much died down, only to resurface again after Danny's little mishap with his weapon.

"Morning," Don greeted cheerfully, making Danny stand upright in surprise. "What are you doing?" he asked in amusement when he saw that Danny was holding the wire for the television Ariel in his left hand.

"Oh," Danny said, looking at the wire as if he didn't know what it was. "It fell out this morning," he explained. "I can't get it to go back in," he scowled at the offending piece of electrical equipment.

"Come here," Don said, putting down his coffee and taking the wire off of Danny. "Let me try."

Danny smiled and stepped aside, allowing Don to bend over the television and a few seconds later the Ariel was connected again and there was a picture on the screen once more. "Show off," Danny muttered half-heartedly as Don stood upright again.

"So this is your traditional Saturday morning ritual then?" Don asked when he noticed that the television was playing cartoons. "Sitting around half naked watching cartoons."

Danny laughed and nodded his head. "On the off chance that we actually get a Saturday morning free, yeah," he agreed before they lapsed into silence for a few moments. "Go on. Ask," he instructed.

Don frowned. "Ask what?" he questioned.

"You know what," Danny snapped. "I know you saw the tattoo on my back. Kind of hard not to when it's so big," he shrugged, smiling humourlessly. "So go on, ask," he repeated.

"How long have you had it?" Don asked quietly.

"Since I was a teenager," Danny replied just as quietly, not taking his eyes off of the television screen. "I was sixteen." Danny sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "I know that everyone talks about me and Tanglewood in the locker room. You've just been given proof that most of the things they say about me are true but you're still sat here watching bad cartoons like nothing's changed."

"Nothing _has _changed, Danny," Don told him. "So what if you ran with them? I know that you don't run with them now. Even if you did, I don't care. You're my friend, nothing's going to change that." Don got up and headed for the kitchen to rinse out his coffee cup.

Danny waited for a second before jumping up and following Don into the kitchen. "Why did you cover for me with Mac?" he asked, changing the subject completely.

Don turned and looked at him, wondering when he got so inquisitive. "Because," Don sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Because, I know that you wouldn't want Mac to know that you tried to kill yourself because of him," he said quietly.

Danny stared at him in a mixture of surprise and horror. "But how? How did you know that?" he stammered, feeling his heart rate increase.

"I just did, okay?" Don asked. "It doesn't matter how. I just did."

"Well, maybe it matters to me, Flack," Danny snapped.

"I know because," Don sighed. "Because. You watch him all the time and everything you do is to please him. It's obvious. Well, it is to me."

"Why just you?" Danny demanded.

"Never mind," Don replied.

"Tell me," Danny all but shouted.

"Because I watch you as well," Don snapped, shocking Danny into silence.

TBC

Thanks for readingX


	4. Chapter 4

_Disclaimer: See previous chapters._

Stand By You

Chapter four

"W-What?" Danny croaked in surprise.

"Never mind," Don whispered, pushing past Danny and making his way to the spare bedroom where he had been staying.

"What do you mean?" Danny asked quietly, following Don and stopping in the doorway.

"Never mind," Don said, throwing his bag on the bed and tossing a few things into it. "Forget I said anything."

"I can't," Danny said. "Tell me. Please," he added.

"I meant exactly what it sounded like, okay?" Don said, not turning around to look at him. "I know that you watch every move Mac makes because I watch every move _you _make. When I found you lying on the floor in there, I was scared. More scared than I have ever been in my entire life. I couldn't let you die. If you'd have died, I don't know what I would have done. I care for you too much to lose you like that. I'm leaving," Don added, before Danny had even registered what Don was saying. "I think you've proven that you're fine enough without anyone here. Just don't do anything like this again, Danny," Don said, picking his bag up and pushing past Danny. "I'll see you later."

"Wait!" Danny called after him before he could leave the apartment. "When did this start?" he asked quietly, moving around so that he was blocking Don's exit.

"When did you start working at the lab?" Don countered with his own question. "That's your answer."

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" Danny asked quietly, looking into Don's blue eyes.

"And what would I have said?" Don laughed. " 'Hey, Dan, I know you're totally smitten with your boss, but I love you as well, in case you were wondering'?"

"I don't know what to say," Danny admitted softly.

"There's nothing to say," Don said sadly, placing a hand on Danny's cheek. "You love _Mac _not _me_." He sighed and lowered his hand. "It's fine, I've accepted it. I'll see you on Monday," he said, pushing Danny out of the way and leaving the blond alone in his apartment.

Danny growled in irritation and slammed the phone down. He had been trying to get in touch with Don ever since the black haired man had left the apartment the day before. But, much to Danny's annoyance, the homicide detective was refusing to answer Danny's calls.

Danny cringed as he felt a twinge of pain shoot through his lower back. Swallowing the couple of painkillers that were left in the bottle, Danny frowned and looked into the bathroom cabinet. There was another bottle that no one had found.

He grabbed it and looked down at it, weighing out his options. Inside he was berating himself for not only fucking things up with Mac but also for screwing things up with Don as well. They had both been friends ever since Danny had joined the crime lab and Danny had never had the slightest inclination that Don was interested in him. And now he'd gone and pushed Don too far, screwing up their friendship.

Danny tipped three pills into his hand. He hated that he had made Don feel like he had. Don was one of his best friends. Some friend Danny was. He put one of the pills in his mouth and was about to swallow a mouthful of water when he heard Don's voice in his head, _'Don't do anything like this again.'_ Danny looked at his reflection in the mirror, "What are you doing, Messer?" he asked himself as he spat out the tablet and tossed it in the trashcan. "Get your ass in gear and find your friend," he instructed himself, putting the rest of the tablets back in their jar.

x

Stella looked up in surprise when she saw Danny standing in the door to the lab. "Danny!" she exclaimed, running across the room to where the blond was standing and throwing her arms around him.

"Hey, Stella," Danny grinned hugging her back.

"I was worried about you," Stella told him pulling back. "Flack told us that you had food poisoning. It must have been pretty bad if they kept you in hospital for so long. Where did you go?" she questioned.

"Fuqua Sushi House," Danny told her, remembering the name from a previous case they had worked on.

Stella laughed and shook her head. "I would have thought you would have learnt your lesson about eating food off of a naked woman."

Danny shrugged his shoulders sheepishly. Mac walked into the lab, cell phone in his hand. "Danny," he nodded his head, "welcome back." Danny half-smiled back at him, his stomach tightening only slightly at Mac's presence. "I just had a call from Thacker, we've got a case. You feeling well enough to work the field?" Mac asked.

Danny nodded his head. "Where's Flack?" he asked trying to sound like he was merely curious about the detective's whereabouts.

"He called in sick today," Mac scowled.

"That's weird," Stella commented, shrugging her lab coat off. "Flack's never called in sick in all the time I've been working with him."

"He's just had a week's holiday and now he's ill," Mac said. "You know what's wrong with him?" he asked, turning to Danny.

Danny shook his head. "Why would I know?" he asked, following them out of the lab.

"You two are close," Stella replied. "Haven't you spoken to him recently?"

"Not since I got out of hospital," Danny lied. He wasn't sure if Stella believed him, but right then he didn't care.

x

"Flack," Danny said when Don's answering machine picked up the ringing phone. "Don. Come on, pick up," he added, looking up at the door that he was standing in front of. He sighed and continued, "I know you're there and I know you're not really sick. You can't avoid me forever you know?" he asked before he ended the call.

He took a deep breath and waited a few moments before knocking on the door. No one answered so he pounded on the door again. "Flack, I know you're in there," he shouted through the door. "I'll stay out here all night if I have to," he threatened, banging on the door some more.

"For fucks sake," Don's voice said as the door opened, "I was in the shower, Danny," he snapped.

Danny laughed at his friends tousled hair which was still damp and clinging to his forehead. A door opened down the hall and an old lady with curlers in her hair, stuck her head out into the corridor. "Donald?" she asked. "What's all the noise about?"

Don flinched, "Sorry, Mrs Todd," he apologized, grabbing Danny by the arm and pulling him into the apartment, slamming the door closed behind the blond.

" 'Donald'?" Danny repeated, unable to keep the laughter out of his voice or the smirk off of his face.

Don rolled his eyes, "Shut up," he mumbled, grinning slightly before turning serious. "What do you want, Danny?" he asked.

Danny sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "To find out why you called in sick this morning," he answered. "I know it's not because you're ill. You haven't been ill once in the entire time I've known you."

"I just didn't feel like going into work today, that's all," Don shrugged dismissively.

"Because of me?" Danny asked quietly.

"If you must know," Don sighed, "yeah. Because of you. But not because I hate you," he added. "God, I could never hate you. I wanted to avoid the awkward silences and uncomfortable situations."

"What would you say if I told you that I'm not uncomfortable around you?" Danny asked, making Don pause and look at him questioningly. "Look," he sighed again, "I've been thinking about what you said and what I feel all weekend."

"Danny, don't," Don said, holding a hand up to silence his friend, "I don't want you feeling sorry for me or saying that you like me, but just as a friend. I already know all that, I don't need to hear you say it as well."

"If you would let me finish," Danny glared. "I've been thinking about it all weekend. Then last night I realised something." Don looked at him curiously. "I haven't thought about Mac for the past week. That was when I realised that whenever I'm with you I forget he even exists."

"What are you saying?" Don asked nervously.

"I'm saying that, while I can't promise you that I can _love _you, if you give me a chance I can try," Danny added, stepping closer to Don and putting a hand on either side of the taller man's face. He hesitated slightly before pulling him closer, pressing their lips together.

TBC

Thanks for reading.


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